Suffer from Orthorexia? 3 Reasons to Eat Out for Every Meal

“Do you want to go out to eat for dinner?” he asked me nonchalantly, looking at his watch.

“Go out to eat? Where?” I asked, panic rising in my chest.

“I don’t know. Somewhere close by,” he responded.

“You don’t know?! How can you make such a suggestion and not have concrete details?” I thought to myself as I pondered this body-altering request.

It was 2012 and I was living in my own personal body-hatred hell. I tried to do all that I could to avoid going out to eat, or eating anywhere that wasn’t my kitchen. I would bring my own tilapia with a side of green beans to house parties, or my own individually packed scoops of protein powder to coffee dates with friends.

Every time somebody asked me to go out to eat for dinner, something would “come up” unexpectedly.

The only person that I couldn’t seem to make this work on was the man I was dating at the time. How could I get out of going to a restaurant when he knew very well that I had nothing else to do that evening? How could I explain to him that the mere suggestion of eating food made in a foreign kitchen was enough to send me down a spiraling period of extreme self-loathing.

I had read too many magazines that told me to eat at home as often as possible, and to prepare my food in a Tupperware if I “absolutely could not avoid” going to a restaurant.

I would feel guilty for not being able to get out of a birthday party, as if I didn’t try my hardest.

I felt like a failure for even being in the presence of sashimi and sake.

I would spend weeks researching online menus and calling restaurants to know what types of substitutions they could make. Does the chicken come without pre-packed sodium? Can the fish be made without oil? Does the rice have butter in it?

Some of you reading this may think this is a “champagne problem”, meaning it’s ridiculous for somebody to be so anxious about a luxury such as eating out.

Looking back now, I find humor in my obsession with clean eating. But that doesn’t mean the problem wasn’t very real at the time. Just because it’s miniscule compared to other issues happening in our world, doesn’t mean it can’t cause severe anxiety and problems within the life of the sufferer.

Other readers of this article might be nodding there head vigorously, relating to this restaurant anxiety hell that I lived in for so long.

Any time that I did make my way to a restaurant, I spent the entire time calculating calories and doing restaurant math, completely missing out on the conversation happening with my dining companions.

“If I had eggs for breakfast, that means I can afford some carbs for lunch. I can get the sandwich with bread and a side salad, or I can skip the bread and just have the meat and cheese, so that I can have fries as a side. But if I have fries, I should make sure there is no olive oil in my carbless sandwich so that I don’t eat too much oil. Or, I could order the salmon with broccoli and have two pieces of bread in the bread basket…”

I suffered from something called orthorexia, an eating disorder where one is obsessed with healthy or “pure” eating.

Does eating out give you anxiety? Here’s how I overcame my orthorexic fears #orthorexia #bodyimage

I had my own imagined rules for what I considered to be healthy eating, and most of my rules followed the guidelines of what my bodybuilding coaches taught me.

No salt, no sugar, and no fat.

Eat every three hours.

Do not skip a meal.

Plan your pre and post workout meals perfectly.

Do not eat out.

Cook all of your own food.

As a result, restaurants became the place where all hopes and dreams of being a well-known bodybuilder died. Every time I went out to eat, I was filled with dread as I realized this one meal was taking me further away from my perfect body goals.

This was my life four years ago.

The past 3 years have been spent challenging these false beliefs about food and my body. I’ve dedicated my life to sharing my journey on my podcast, coaching women, creating programs, speaking and writing books on this topic. I desire to spread more awareness on not only orthorexia, but body image and disordered eating as a whole.

I’ve gone out to eat plenty of times within the last few years, as well. I go out to eat at least 3 times per week, I would say, and many of the other nights I either cook in my own home or have dinner at my parents’ home. It’s one of the many perks of having family close by that I can finally participate in.

With all of that said, in the past month (and could last up to six months) I’ve done something I’ve never done before. I’ve been eating out for every meal.

Yes, you read that right. Every meal.

If you’ve been reading some of my other posts recently, you know I’ve been traveling in Asia. I’ve been staying in hotels the entire time, except for the first week, and I’ve been either dining at the hotel’s breakfast buffet (if they have one) or going to local restaurants.

This is every orthorexic’s nightmare.

Four years ago, I would have said no way to travel if I knew I would be eating out this often. Fortunately, I am no longer a prisoner to my body. In fact, I make the rules.

I’ve gained a few benefits since eating out for every meal. Here are 3 of them:

1. Being disciplined with food is not my purpose.

I used to carry around the belief that eating out meant I had no self-discipline.

First off, it wasn’t discipline that was holding me back from eating out before. It was shame. And there is nothing righteous about letting shame limit joys of life.

Secondly, I am not here on this earth to be disciplined. I am here to experience pleasure, joy and freedom. I am here to have incredible relationships and do everything I can to make sure I live this life to the fullest. Sitting in my kitchen preparing my special, safe foods does not serve any purpose other than limiting me.

I do enjoy cooking my own food because being in the kitchen is fun. I love to experiment with food and eat something I created myself. But there is an obvious difference between doing something out of love versus fear. It’s the same with exercise and movement. You know when you have the control, or when it does.

2. Eating out doesn’t inherently mean you’re going to gain weight.

I always thought that if I ate out, I was going to gain weight. Period.

Some of the thoughts that would run through my head as I used to look at a menu include: Salads have hidden calories like you wouldn’t believe. Dressings have tons of sugar. Chicken is loaded with unnecessary sodium. Veggies are made with an excessive amount of olive oil. Restaurant bread is always the highest calorie bread possible. A fruit plate isn’t really a fruit place…there’s probably a heaping tablespoon of hidden sugar within every piece!

I believed that somehow, someway, restaurants always managed to triple a calorie count of any given dish. Even looking at a plate of nothing but arugula had me worried, thinking, “What’s this arugula really made of? Green strips of weight-gaining calorie bombs?”

Eating out every day has proven to me a few things. One of them is that I’m not going to inherently gain weight. Some dishes have the same amount of calories I would eat if I were going to eat it at home. Normally, a fruit plate is really just a fruit plate. A salad is pretty much just a regular salad. A bread basket is filled with bread you’d find at the store.

And sometimes, when I really tune into my body and let go of all previously-ingrained eating rules, I don’t eat the whole plate. I just eat until I’m full. I believe that’s my body intuitively deciding, on its own, how much I need to eat for my needs.

I order “healthy” dishes frequently because that’s naturally what I like. I enjoy wraps, salads, yogurt and fruit bowls, and stir-fries, but I also want some ice cream when the time is right. It might be hard to believe, but many restaurants actually have healthy meals you would eat at home anyways!

I’ve been eating non-stop Asian dishes (curry, white rice, veggie stir-fries) at least once or twice per day, and no massive, unpredictable weight gain has happened. My body is metabolizing the food. If I eat a lot for lunch, sometimes I eat less for dinner because I’m naturally less hungry, but not always. Sometimes I want a big dinner even if I had a big lunch, and to me, that’s my body telling me it needs more energy.

Either way, my body figures it out on its own without me having to do ridiculous, unnecessary calorie math.

3. Letting go feels great. And it’s convenient.

Sometimes, you just don’t have time to cook at home and it’s easier to eat out. Being able to let go when you need/want to is such a relief. I’ve been able to eat out daily without spending energy dwelling on it because I have better things to do with my time.

If you are still scared of eating out, I challenge you to eat out for every meal for the next few days. Don’t go to places with the nutrition facts on the menu, and don’t look up the restaurant’s calorie chart online.

Just go to a different place for breakfast, lunch and dinner and trust yourself. It may feel funky at first, or maybe frustrating and fearsome, but I know you can do this.

The sooner you prove to yourself that restaurants aren’t “out to get you” the sooner you will be able to stay present with your food and enjoy every bite.

And hey, remember that if you do happen to gain weight, you’re not on this planet to look a particular way. You are here to LIVE. Our bodies will fluctuate in weight all of our lives, so accept that as fact right now and get on with using your body to live the one life you’ve been given.

Have you ever eaten out for every meal for several days (or weeks)? What did you learn from it?

If not, are you going to try? Comment below!