How to Stop Feeling Responsible for the Thoughts and Actions of Others
Episode 207: Would you say that you're someone who struggles when you don't feel liked? Would you say that you typically sensor your sentences to ensure they don't offend anyone? And if they do, you apologize profusely and obsess over it for a week?Okay, let me ask you this one: ever avoided eye contact, wearing something "too sexy" or shooting a loving smile over to a man out of fear he will get the wrong idea (and that it will obviously be your fault)?Many of us have been taught, since birth, that it is our responsibility to:
-Not cause a man to stumble
-Make sure everyone feels comfortable
-Make sure you are liked
-Not piss anyone off
-Fit in
-Cover up your body (or else you are "asking" for it)
-Please your family members by being who they want you to be
Any many more examples.Many women have been taught that it is our responsibility to be liked by everyone, to play the role of the sweet/kind friend and to not step on any toes. If this kind of programming is not healed, it has the power to lead us straight into a whirlwind of anxiety every single time we feel someone is mad at us. It keeps us quiet whenever we've been taken advantage of. We may feel we are unloveable.Feeling responsible for the actions of others is one of the most dreadful experiences ever...simply because you're trying to control something you will never and can never control. If you relate to any of this above, pull up a chair and get ready to take some notes.Show notes:
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The conversation I had with my client that opened up the doors to this conversation.
Why it is not your fault if a man is attracted to you (and why you shouldn't try to avoid that either).
The Instagram post where I wrote about causing a man to stumble.
Showing the world your Love Light fully and openly.
Releasing the idea that you are responsible for what others are experiencing
How the subconscious belief that you are responsible for the happiness of others could be sabotaging your own choices even as an adult.
An example of how the body image industry often presented an opportunity for me to sit with not pleasing everyone with my work.
Don't intentionally hurt anyone emotionally or physically-- otherwise, speak your truth and allow others to have their own experience with whatever your truth is.
It's not your job to keep people from being triggered (in fact, it's often really helpful when you give them that experience)
Triggers show us where we are not yet healed and where we still have work to do. Without triggers, we are not growing.
How to set emotional boundaries
Using triggers to deepen your relationships (with an open heart) rather than fight, disconnect and close your heart.
You are responsible for what you say, not what others hear.
Examples of the Masculine to follow: Josh Trent, John Wineland, David Deida, Justin Baldoni, Justin Patrick Pierce, Kyle Lipton, Drew Gerald, Jay Shetty and Lewis Howes.
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