Why I Retired from Being the Fit Girl

Not too long ago, I was receiving a new email in my inbox every morning from a desperate man or woman seeking transformation help. Every email started with a long, drawn-out explanation about how they “put on weight” and eventually they all ended with the same thing: “Now, how do I lose it?”

“How do I get fit?”

“How can I follow a meal plan without going crazy?”

How, Madelyn, how?

For a while, I was glad I was a source for these answers. I was glad that people came to me for fitness and nutrition advice. I was able to help others get from point A to point B, but on top of that, it kept me accountable to stay in tiptop leanness.

Because if I wasn’t lean I would lose my credibility.

With every email came more and more assurance that my own meal plan was worth it. That my own two-a-day workouts were working. People were taking notice, and now I was somebody that was deemed as credible.

I had a label.

I was known as the fit girl.

Labels are double-edged swords that sneak up quickly and can be created on purpose or on accident.

Maybe you love juices, but before you know it you’re labeled as the healthy juice cleanse queen.

Maybe you eat mostly vegan, but don’t follow a strict vegan diet, yet everybody labels you as that healthy vegan girl.

It doesn’t have to be food focused.

Maybe you’re the girl that just happens to always have perfect hair, and before you know it, people expect your hair to always be presentable to a certain standard.

Maybe you always make amazing desserts for parties and you’re soon expected to have a dessert in hand every time you’re invited somewhere.

Perhaps you always give good advice and so naturally you’re constantly overloaded with your friends’ and family members’ current issues.

Does this sound familiar? Are you known for something that seems to identify you?

For some people, they thrive in their labels. They love having labels; it helps them feel purposeful. No shame in that. No shame at all.

On the flip side, there are some people that feel chained to these identities. They feel like the owe other people these labels and they have to BE that person for them. Because if they break away from their label…who are they anymore?

For example, let’s talk about Jen.

Jen used to be very overweight. Jen struggled every day because she was known as the “big” girl. She was this girl for as long as she could remember. Even back in elementary school, she has memories of towering over her friends and feeling left out. Her bone structure was bigger, and she had boobs before everyone else.

Jen was teased for as long as she can remember.

But then, something amazing happened when Jen started college. She no longer saw the same bullies she knew in high school and grade school, and she decided it was time for a change. She lost weight through diet and exercise. Every day, she filled her body with whole foods, and after a short period of time, the weight started to fly off. Eventually, Jen began incorporating sessions on the Stairmaster, or weekly spin classes.

A year later, Jen finds herself with an incredible 100 pound weight loss story and a room full of new awestruck friendships.

With this weight loss, Jen gained respect. She gained admiration. She gained a lover. She gained “self-esteem.”

But with all of these things, she also gained fear. Fear of what would happen if she gained her weight back. Fear that if she stopped counting calories or if she missed a workout, she would be seen as a failure.

Everybody would know if she put on a few more pounds.

She’d no longer be that girl. She’d no longer be the girl people looked at and applauded. She wouldn’t be able to casually bring up her amazing weight loss success story when people share their triumphs in life because she was scared they would ask “Oh, well then why do you look like you look now?”

Her weight loss was her identity. It was what made her different.

Or so she thought.

You see, a transformation story in itself can be a label for people. And similarly, labels are oftentimes triggers.

They keep you rigid. They keep you strict. They keep you “in line”…out of fear.

This happened to me. Though I didn’t have a traditional weight loss story, I did lose weight and gain muscle. I had a big enough physical transformation that people would oftentimes bring up my fitness lifestyle as a greeting.

“Hey Madelyn, I see you’re really fit these days. Maybe you can help me with my diet.”

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of….

“Oh crap, Madelyn is going out to eat with us? I hope she doesn’t see what I’m going to be eating. She’ll call me out for it!”

And in my head, all I could think was, ugh no I won’t. In fact, I want to eat that. But if I admit that I want to eat that, what will they think? What will they ask? Will they no longer think of me as a credible source for their diet needs?

Sometimes my fear was rooted in losing the constant stream of comments I was receiving about my body.

This is an example of me pretty much asking for people to comment on my body, so that in turn, I could be fueled by the comments and give myself more reason to stay strict.

Is any of this resonating with you?

If so, I want to challenge you. I want to challenge you to identify what your label is.

After that, I want you to recognize whether this label is a trigger.

If it’s a trigger, than congrats! I’m glad you can see that. Not many people can.

Next is the hard part. You’re going to have to start to think about where your fear is rooted and begin to challenge these comments people make about you. You’re going to have to speak up when people put you in a box. Let them know that you’re not just “this” girl or “that” girl.

You are you, nothing more and nothing less.

You can BE fit, but that does not mean you ARE the fit girl.

You can HAVE a weight loss story but that does not mean you ARE a weight loss story.

If your friends don’t respect you when you speak up about these labels, they aren’t your friends. Period.

Be confident in your journey. Your journey does not have one start and stop. It’s a constant venture and an everlasting motion. You are you through and through and nobody else.

Let go over your labels. Stay true to your journey. Do these things and the world will be full of so much more possibility.

Do you think you could retire from your label? This girl did. Read how! #fitness #bodyimage