This is How You Open her- Instagram Post Roundup

It's time for another Instagram post roundup. Here are a few of my writings from the last two weeks. Sit back, relax and allow yourself to indulge in my not-so-mysterious mind.

Nothing that is earthly-driven should be put above what is spiritually-driven.

This doesn’t mean that you become a consistent flake on those who are important to you, become a hermit never leaving your bed, or that you don’t make commitments.

This means that you take care of yourself, as much as possible, so that you CAN show up for those who are deserving of your time.

Save your “commitment bank” for those commitments that are valuable to you (you don’t have an endless bank! It will run out!). Save your time allotment for activities that are in integrity with why you’re here on earth. Save your “space holding” for people in your life who you desire to hold space for. And as Mark Manson would say, save your f*cks for only the things that matter.

It’s not the examples above that weigh us down over time... it’s saying “yes” to all things and activities that are NOT passing the test of being in alignment.

And remember, this isn’t black and white. We learn through experiences what‘s a yes and what’s a no. Give yourself plenty of space and grace as you go through trial and error.

The deeper you take her vulnerability in sex,
The stronger you need to hold her heart after.

While sex may be the “space” that you try new things,
Play with taboos,
Call each other dirty names,
Get a little submissive or dominate,
It doesn’t end there.

While the unspoken permission to “go there” may end
when the clothes come back on,
her heart is still open.
She feels the depth you took her to
She feels open to you
She feels tender to you
She still looks to you.

Your every move is felt by her,
And you have the power to continue
To open her with your presence,
Or traumatize her, by losing awareness of her.

Like you felt her body when you spanked her,
feel her heart when she goes to get drinking water.
Like you felt her hair when you pulled it,
feel her heart close when you stop staying present with her.
Like you called her a name when she was being bad,
call her another name to let her know she’s loved.

It is not easy to open up in sex,
It is not easy to open up in life.
If you’re going to be responsible in claiming
your sexual desires together,
Be responsible for the tender being
that will come forward before, during and after.

This is how you truly open her.

She loves sexual exploration
That was never the problem
The problem has been that too few people
Know how to handle what comes up afterwards
and too few women know how to put their finger on it.

She needs your presence
She needs your energy
She needs your willingness and desire
To reveal how much care you’re ready to put into her heart
Even when the “fun” is done.

I’ve been very tender hearted the last few days. I’ve had my feelings hurt a few times
and I haven’t immediately been able to put it into words why.

And that’s okay— there is no need to rush.

At the end of Saturday, I told myself, “Today was a hard day. I don’t know why exactly…but it was, and that’s okay.” And simply doing that, gave me all I needed.

The second thing to remember is that people are not in your inner world. They don’t have your memories, beliefs, joys, passions, triggers, stories, and wounds, to help guide them to know what to do or what to not say to you.

Gently telling them what feels good to hear and what may not feel good to hear from them can be an excellent tool— and it can deepen the relationship tenfold if you do it with love.

Thirdly, imagine that every time your feelings are hurt you are given an opportunity to do three things: share your feelings with love to them (this can be challenging for many! texting it out to begin with helps), own your feelings and allow them to exist, and thirdly, ask yourself if the emotion is coming purely from your own insecurities— or perhaps this person is truly bringing down your energy and not lifting you up with encouragement as lovers, friends, communities and peers should.

I’m not saying that our lovers and friends and teachers shouldn’t trigger us— THEY WILL. But once they are aware that we are in that feeling, I believe a good friend, teacher, or lover is going to be by your side as you process it.

Whatever is coming up for you right now, let it be. And love yourself through it. Even better, allow another person in to hold it with you. 🙏🏼❤️

I’ve been living by a “24 hour” rule recently and it’s been a godsend.

I’m on the @nourishedplanner email list (one of the few) and yesterday they sent out an email talking about something that I’m reallyyy on board with— waiting to respond, take action or make a decision.

Sometimes our anxiety gets the best of us. We think we NEED to text back they friend ASAP. We MUST respond to that email. We HAVE to have a conversation immediately.

These fast-paced actions are normally driven by anxiety and fear rather than love and ease….because LOVE knows that it can take its time. Love trusts. Love can chill. Love doesn’t need to rush.
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(Side note: if you were raised around people who didn’t provide unconditional love, this is often a side effect as an adult. You body may think it NEEDS to respond fast to make sure it’s safe and loved— even if it has nothing to do with literal love.)
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When our nervous system is feeling anxious, it looks for some sort of action to take to emotionally tie up the bow or make a move. It makes us feel safe— temporarily.

Unfortunately, many times when we take action fueled from this place, we regret the choice that we made. Even if it’s just about meeting a friend for lunch.

Try giving yourself 24 hours to make commitments, respond to big requests, or respond to particularly triggering emails.

Let your nervous system relax. Teach your nervous system to know it’s OK to wait. And allow yourself to breatheeeee in the mean time.

Needing to “be chill” is the enemy of depth.

When your priority is making sure everyone is comfortable, you’ve gotta be vanilla. You’ve gotta keep things light. You’ve gotta make sure there is no “weeding out” moments, so therefore— there’s gotta be no risk taking.

When you apply this to dating, you run a huge risk of wasting both of your time.

If you CRAVE depth, but you’re sticking to the typical questions that feel the safest, you run the risk of spending all your time being someone who you aren’t, being with someone who doesn’t match your needs, and maybe worst of all, abandoning your truth for the sake of people-pleasing.

You can apply this to friendships, family, your job, your city, your business, your lifestyle.

Where else do you find yourself prioritizing being “chill?” Where does your heart need more depth but you keep choosing surface? Where do your needs to be “cool“ come head-to-head with your yearning to reveal your POWER?

You CAN be in your power and also be chill, don’t get me wrong. But everything is cyclical and seasonal.

What does the current moment need from you? More chill…or more TRUTH?

It’s 6 PM and I’m soaking in a bathtub reminiscing (already) on the past weekend I just experienced hosting my seventh retreat.

This weekend I witnessed so much “togetherness” in such a short amount of time. Every single woman LOVED on every single other woman— sharing, relating, holding space, honoring and worshipping the divine within her.

There were tears and laughter, there was silence and sound, there was movement and stillness.

There were mothers, marriages, divorces, business owners, business builders, rule followers, rule breakers, introverts, extroverts and everything in between.

Mother Nature outside reflected the energy and change inside— showering us with sun, snow, fog and rain— constantly changing her state of energy, just like us. It was magnificent.

As always, I’m so touched by each one of you ladies who came. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

A warm embrace goes to Laura for hosting the best acro and thai massage workshops, Amanda for the delicious food, Brian for the sound healing and cacao ceremony, Ky for the Mala Making magic and Clara for our essential oil chakra cleaning meditations.

I am honored to be surrounded by such powerful humans, inside and out.

To be one of the next 10 women on a retreat with me, apply at maddymoon.com/events 🙏🏼❤️🥰….and if you’re reading this, head to the “retreat” highlight to watch snippets of past gatherings!

The Feminine is not about surrendering to life and the Masculine is not about powering through and hustling— I can’t say it enough.

Your Feminine 💦 is the part of you that is ENERGY. She’s the part of you that somehow knows how to make the mundane magical. She knows how to bring color 🌈 to what’s typically dull and bland. She reveals her pleasure to the world not to make others like her, but because a life of hiding and being cold stone isn’t conducive to her greater desire to experience and express love.

The Feminine is both a calm river and a roaring tsunami— in both the calm and the chaos, she is connected to her heart ❤️ and doing it for the betterment of love.

Your Masculine is the part of you that’s PRESENCE. 🧝🏻‍♂️He’s the part of you that takes your breath deeper whenever your body tenses up, you clench your jaw and you stop the flow of oxygen. He helps you drop into a moment, giving both yourself and others the gift of your deepest presence— 🧘🏼‍♀️ letting the whole room know YOU are here and only here.

He’s the part of you that controls time and space— where you are going to be, when you are going to be there and for how long. This last part means you are also in charge of how you experience your life. Are you living without any boundaries, awareness of time/space and without any internal clock to help you focus? Orrrr are you setting boundaries, leaving something when you need to and giving yourself time to experience what you need to in your day-to-day?

The Feminine isn’t about self-care and the Masculine isn’t about goals. When we go deeper, we can see that we can experience the Feminine’s gift of energy doing very “masculine” like things— I can connect to my pleasure while I’m leading a coaching sessions. On the flip side, I can be very much in my Masculine and hold space for someone while at a Full Moon Circle (something that would appear to be Feminine.

It’s not always about what you do in life— it’s about how you do it.

Want more? Follow along on Instagram HERE.