How One Woman Stopped Body-Shaming During the Holidays
This is a guest post by Amanda Darby; read About the Author below to learn more about her work.The holidays are coming. Are you excited or nervous? I used to be SO afraid of gaining weight during the holidays that I would plan the six weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve to a T. I would schedule workouts and walking coffee dates. I’d menu plan and avoid sugar. I’d follow a strict list of of “bad” foods and allow only a few “forbidden” foods on Thanksgiving and Christmas.Sound familiar? Girl, you are not alone. I’ve been there. Food used to control my life. It had me on a very short leash. I used to wake up every morning, weigh myself, and based on the number I would either feel awesome or defeated. My weight dictated my emotions.And you know what?No matter how “healthy” I would eat or how good people told me I looked, I never felt like it was enough. I could always do something better. Like, I could be on a raw diet. Those women look flawless, but since I’m too weak, I can’t do that. These are the stories and lies I told myself.So what changed?Well, it’s been a slow evolution to feel free in my body. I don’t feel any guilt about the foods I eat. I don’t hate my body. I love it. I enjoy every meal and snack without fear. And I don’t have any self-hate chatter running non-stop in my head. Seriously, it felt like there was a “you are fat” filibuster going on in my head all day long.There were several changes that stopped all the negative self-loathing in my head.
1. I accepted that I use foods to fill in emotional gaps.
Eating was an emotional crutch for me. It developed when I was a little girl as a result of being bullied everyday of my life for about 3-4 years. You can read more about that journey here.
2. I filled my life with loving, supportive people.
My husband is incredibly supportive and loves me just as I am. Cheesy, I know, but having him by my side is a real blessing. My friends are very laid back, down to earth ladies and we don’t sit around talking about the numbers on the scale or the latest diets we are on. We talk about life, love, politics, and well, our kids. And I follow bloggers like Maddy, Sarah Jenks, The Dabblist, Isabel Foxen Duke, and Crystal Cave who all support women at any shape or size and encourage me to live my life to the fullest.
3. I had kids.
Yeah, life became bigger and more complex. So far, I have 2 little people to take care of. I don’t have the time to sit around counting calories and hyperfocusing on my weight. I can’t tell you enough how much I love having kids. I love strolling to the park to watch them play. I love holding their little hands as they learn to walk or cross a street. While it’s a lot of work, I really find kids fulfilling and not in the 1950’s repressed housewife way. I just like it. I feel like kids were a missing piece in my life that no amount of food could fill. And the worst part was, I was adamantly against having kids. I didn’t want to become fat and frumpy. I heard all these horror stories about how moms “lose themselves” and never find their hot and sexy selves again. It makes me laugh just writing that, because it doesn’t have to be like that. I am 100% control of my life. Just like you are 100% in control of yours. I tell you this to make you really think about what is missing in your life and how food can never fill that hole. Kids may not be your missing piece; it was mine. But if you are using food as a coping mechanism it’s time to really think about what you want and how to get it.
4. I stopped caring if people thought I was fat.
This one is huge! I mean, who said I have to be skinny? I don’t have to be anything but what I am, right? Once I got over what others thought about my body, which you can read more about that here, I stopped obsessing about food and my weight stabilized.If you are struggling with food obsession, know you aren’t alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive women like Maddy is one of the smartest ways to overcome the obsessive behaviors. Continue to look for ways to improve your relationship with food, whether they are big or small. Don’t be afraid to walk your own path, but try to listen to others when you need help. We are all beautiful and deserve to be in a body we truly love and all you have to do is make the choice to love it.
About the Author of How One Woman Stopped Body-Shaming During the Holidays
Amanda Darby is a straight shooting, no-nonsense nutrition guru. She loves talking and writing about emotional eating, favorite recipes, and the latest food trends. The biggest thing you need to know is she doesn't overthink the foods she eats and LOVES teaching people how they can stop feeling guilty about the foods they love. You can find more on AmandaDarby.com. Or check her out on Instagram and Twitter.