The Time I Found Out My Boyfriend Had a Wife and Three Kids
Episode 306: Relationships are complicated even when the partners are open and honest with each other - let alone if there is emotional abuse, manipulation, and secrets - like finding out your boyfriend had a wife and three kids.This episode is an intimate and revealing conversation Madelyn had on Julie Day's podcast, I Woke Up Like This. Together they explore Madelyn's experience of discovering a former boyfriend had a wife and kids - while they were dating. Come for the dramatic story - leave with the insights on love, trust, communication, and the transformative power of trauma.
Show notes:
Interview on I Woke Up Like This Podcast - Julie Day - thejulieday.com/i-woke-up-like-this.html
The first Sisu Society call has happened - a big success! - maddymoon.com/sisu-society
The Prerequisites to Ecstasy - amazon.com/Prerequisites-Ecstasy-No-Nonsense-Really-Create
At the time this happened, Maddy wasn't questioning and second guessing quite as much.
Was completely in masculine side, but disembodied, dissociated from feelings.
Everything was a "checklist."
Maddy and this person met on a dating app.
Relationship was turbulent from the start.
Coping with manipulative gaslighting behaviors with self-doubt and needs avoidance.
Found out about wife and kids accidentally via Facebook.
"If you had not found out the truth, you would have had the relationship you wanted."
Marriage - wanting to feel safe and have needs met.
Marriage is commoditized, particularly in America.
"This is something for me to learn how to love."
All knowledge of attachment styles was born in this relationship
Book: "Attached" - https://amzn.to/2oyre0R
When you break a bone, you can go to the doctor, but there aren't necessarily such tools easily apparent in traumatic breakups.
We only learn to navigate attachment trauma with tenderness towards ourselves with experience.
Any future similar situation can now be informed by this.
Goal for all human beings, especially women, is this idea and lifestyle of sovereignty.
When we say yes to love, we also say yes to heartbreak.
From victimhood to empowerment.
If you're always a victim every time darkness happens, you're not going to be able to get to that place of new life.
The relationship wasn't love; it was addiction.
The experience helped Maddy discover key components of her core self.
Every single feeling is sacred. Every single emotion is a teacher.
Be unconditionally friendly to even the parts of yourself that are uncomfortable.
[Tweet "You will see that it's so much better to live your life fully embodying the truth, and to be by your beautiful self, than to be with anyone who punishes you for what you feel or find out. #attached #gaslighting"]
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