How to Use Dating Apps, Getting Through a Breakup and When to Have Sex
Episode 161: “When is it okay to have sex with someone you really like?”
“How do you stay broken up with someone you know isn’t good for you?”
“How do you use dating apps without being superficial and going crazy?”
When I polled my Instagram audience the other day to find out what they wanted to know the most about, these are the three questions I received repeatedly.
So, today’s podcast episode of the Mind Body Musings show is going to be all about these three things.
DISCLAIMER: None of the insight or advice you are about to receive are set in stone. Coach Maddy Moon has been fooled into going on dates with many a**holes throughout her years via dating apps, she has reached out to exes she knew she shouldn’t be with, and she has had sex before when she really could have gone without it.
But, hey, I OWN these experiences totally and I wouldn’t take any of them back for anything.
I owe a lot to the nights I ended back up in the arms of an ex because it’s those gross gut feelings that led me to ending things permanently.
I owe a lot to giving myself to someone who wasn’t right because I realized how much of a treasure my body is and why I need to only share it with someone who really matters.
I owe a lot to my insecure past. She taught me what strength really looks like. She taught me how to stick up for my values, worth and voice.
I’ve had some really dark days when it comes to relationships (this year in particular was a doozy) but nonetheless I’ve remained open and vulnerable.
I’m so proud of my romance battle scars because they’ve healed into something spectacular. I know myself, I know what I want, and I know what not to do.
So, without further ado, are you ready to hear what I’ve learned about these three topics? Let's go!Show notes:
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When using dating apps know yourself and be clear on what kind of person that you want to date.
Go on ‘mini’ dates so that if it’s not working, you don’t feel locked in.
When on a date, I let him pay if I feel we are a good fit and we are enjoying ourselves. If it’s not a good fit, I always pay half.
Don’t overthink if a date goes really well. If you want to say hi the next day, do so.
Know the type of person that you are and know the type of person that you are with. I am primarily a secure type of person, but secondarily anxious. I can get very attached to someone who is an ‘avoidant’, someone who does not respond and plays a little hard to get. Being an anxious person, I let go of people who are avoidant as they activate my attachment style MAJORLY. Listen to the podcast I did about the book Attached to learn more.
Notice the pattern of communication after your date.
Mentalities you can have when using dating apps:
I’m doing this for dating.
I’m doing this for entertainment / fun. I want to meet new people. Make new friends.
If you want more insight about dating, Matthew Hussey has a book called ‘Get the Guy’ + a great YouTube channel.
So why choose the middle path when on dating apps? To increase your pool of potential and possibilities.
Know that an ‘attachment’ is created when you have sex with someone. Can you or your partner handle that? If you are an anxious person, an avoidant is already not good for you. Much so if you have sex with him/her as sex only multiplies your attachment.
Consult with your heart and feel what’s best for you. Maybe talk to your partner first and see how you both feel about your relationship before you have sex.
Giving yourself to someone only to watch the relationship quickly crumble is always painful, but learn what you can from the situation and stay in your softness and femininity.
One of the reasons one stays in a relationship is comfort. But life is not just for comfort, my friends.
To cope up with a break-up:
Travel
Work on yourself. Go to development seminars, book readings, join a local women’s Meet Up group, etc
Journal the different things happening daily (or things you want to see happen). Stay connected to your heart’s desires and the pain you are feeling. Confront it and please do not suppress it!
Be with people you love and who love you back, like your family and close friends.
Go on dates when you are ready and have fun with other people.
Unfriend the ex in Facebook, delete his/her number and unfollow him/her in social media.
Get really good in something like in engaging in sports, taking a cooking class, writing a book, etc
Here are some recommendations to help neutralize sex:
Layla Martin (HERE's an episode I had with her)
Pussy: A Reclamation
[Tweet "Having a hard time letting go of a recent breakup? Check out this episode of the #MBMPodcast"]Connect with Maddy:
{COACHING} Ready to break limiting beliefs + Take your self-worth to the next level? Apply for my 1:1 coaching HERE.{RETREAT} Want to join me in August for a LIFE-CHANGING trip to Mexico City?
I M P A C T
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I N T E G R A T I O N
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B O O K N O W HERE!