Episode 205: As women especially, our auto-pilot language tends to air on the side of caution. We don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. We don’t want to walk on any toes. We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. While this comes from good intentions, the language that we use in order to protect everyone around us typically hurts ourselves– the most important person in our lives.

Have you ever been hurt by someone and kept it bottled up? Have you ever shared your pain with another, but added that you’re probably being overly sensitive or emotional? Have you ever reached out to someone you looked up to and put them on a pedestal by lowering your own value (possibly without even realizing it)?

We use words such as “just, sorry, kind of, actually” and many more, as a way to decrease the assertion of our speech. We want to ensure what we say comes across as sweet and pretty, because our programming tells us that if we don’t, we are not going to be liked. We are going to be seen as a biatch.

What is happening deep within is an internal belief that we are not worthy of being upset. When you speak in this way, you begin to believe that your emotions or time is not as valuable as someone else’s. You begin to think that your voice is not as important.

It’s not going to be a fast transformation, but it’s time we begin to slow down with our speech to be more intentional with our words. It’s time we reclaim our feelings, presence, statements and truth. Are you ready to fully step into your power? Desire a clearing of the throat chakra? Want to take care of yourself first and foremost, at last? If so, this podcast is for you.

Show notes:

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  • Why we feel the need to over-compensate our truth with smiley faces, exclamation points and filler words to ensure the receiver feels comfortable with what we are saying.
  • Most of us have been raised to believe we are “pretty and sweet” our entire lives. If this is our subconscious programming, we are going to make sure everything we say is also “pretty and sweet.”
  • We are caught between saying something powerfully and holding ourselves back. We are stepping into our truth and then backpedaling right out of it.
  • Here is a recent Instagram post I wrote around this topic.
  • Our speech becomes our thoughts. Our thoughts become our emotions. Our emotions become our beliefs. What we say and think is so important and should never be underestimated. (this is where the Law of Attraction all begins)
  • Differentiating the Social Self vs. Professional Self (By Steve Chandler)
  • Some useless words to begin releasing from your speech and emails, including: “sorry, just, like, kinda of, actually, does that make sense?”
  • A few tips on how to clean up and strengthen your emails / texts.
  • Why you should put your laptop or phone away in moments you feel anxious or reactive.
  • How to present yourself to someone you are making a request of or sharing something deep with. (Hint: don’t water down your speech…it makes it less likely they will listen to you and you are subconsciously programming yourself to believe you are not worthy of speaking powerfully!)
  • What to do when you begin noticing yourself using these phrases and words moving forward.
  • Playing Big by Tara Mohr
  • My podcast episode with Tara Mohr
  • Just Not Sorry Gmail plugin

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