Episode 275: Self-love memes can have quite an impact on us—both positively and negatively. This podcast episode is all about debunking popular “inspirational” self-love memes that float around the interwebs. We normally think of memes as relatively harmless, but they’re often used to propagate ideas and influence thoughts in our culture, which can be dangerous when you don’t take the time to truly pay attention to what’s behind the words. 

Madelyn Moon is stepping on her soapbox to talk about one self-love meme in particular that got her attention recently. The meme states, “If I disappear on you, it’s out of self-love.” She discusses why this meme is incredibly toxic to our psyche. She explains why popular memes such as this can cause dissonance, wounds, and even trauma for people.

Show notes:

  • 8-week Feminine Spirit School Course gets started January 6th: Learn about the feminine/masculine, shadow sides, ancestral healing, boundary setting, empowerment, sensuality and sexuality, sovereignty and so much more. Sign up: http://maddymoon.com/feminine-spirit
  • Embodied Archetype Retreat with Jamie Wollrab: https://maddymoon.com/events/
  • How to identify when a commitment is something you should let go of.
  • “The 3 questions to ask yourself for fierce self-honesty” episode: https://maddymoon.com/self-honesty/
  • Why we shouldn’t give so much power to our feelings. 
  • Why Madelyn doesn’t agree with a lot of self-love memes and why they’re harmful.
  • An explanation of the 3 different attachment styles.
  • Saying that you’re going to disappear is actually saying: “I have no idea how I feel and I’m completely uncomfortable with my desires in this relationship.”
  • Anyone who is disappearing on someone is coming from a place of not knowing how to articulate their feelings—not wanting to feel uncomfortable with that conversation and show their true vulnerability. 
  • Why we’re confusing what boundaries are in our society. 
  • Madelyn’s anxious attachment style. 
  • “Many people are saying no to things that have the deepest possibility for growth, in the name of self-love—they’re canceling friendships, relationships, plans.”
  • Sefl-love and self-care is a way we hide. 
  • “If you emotionally withdrawal, you are not serving anyone.”
  • The actual vulnerability is not disappearing; it’s speaking your needs. 
  • The right person for you is going to feel like the wrong person at some point. 
  • The crucial importance of speaking what you need in your relationships. 
  • Disappearing is not an act of self-love, outside of the realm of abuse.
  • What real, vulnerable communication is.
  • If the world had more closure, there would be a lot less trauma.
  • The process and Madelyn’s example of creating closure.

Connect with Maddy:

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FEMININE SPIRIT SCHOOL: this school is the one-stop-shop for all things feminine energy! If you’ve been wanting to embody the feminine but feel stuck on the how, this program will take you through the entire realm from start to (well…we’re never really finished, are we?). Learn about the feminine/masculine, shadow sides, ancestral healing, boundary setting, empowerment, sensuality and sexuality, sovereignty and so much more. Sign up here: http://maddymoon.com/feminine-spirit

EMBODIED ARCHETYPE RETREAT: unlock parts of yourself that you’ve been shaming, blaming or hiding for too long. Learn how to integrate your “shadow sides” so that they not only feel welcomed in your life but they also create more love, peace and feminine/masculine harmony. Apply: http://maddymoon.com/events