I’ve been binging lately.
I know, I know, I have come so far…but I can’t help it. I am binging…on Lost.
Considering time is valuable, I try to use it as wisely as possible filling my days with reading, writing, making videos, coaching people, and more recently, doing hot yoga.
But at the end of the day when I’m worn out and wanting to enter the land of relaxation, I can’t help but medicate myself with a heavy dose of Lost.
Why did it take me so long to get on board with this show?
Sometimes my “binges” last an hour, and other times they last several hours. I’m almost to the point where I just want to hurry up and finish all of the seasons so that I no longer have a reason to veg out in front of the tellie for so long.
Yesterday while I was watching it, I heard an exceptional quote that I believe will apply to so many of you.
Sayid was in a bar sitting next to a woman who asked him about what he does for a living. He didn’t want to confess to his tremendously horrid acts, so he said he was “in between jobs.” He admitted that he wanted to stop doing the one thing he was best at.
The women smiled and said, “When you’re that good at something, people will try to tempt you not to change.”
How true it this for so many of us?
One of the reasons why I was so hesitant to recover from orthorexia a few years ago was because, plain and simple, I was good at it.
I was good at restricting. I was good at making myself small. I was excellent at telling people how to diet and lose weight.
When I went out to eat with friends more times than not people would say to me, “Don’t judge me but I’m going to order a burger!”
Little did they know that deep down inside, I so badly wished I could eat that too but I felt the pressure to keep up with my clean-eating-perfectionist label. I didn’t want to break the label by joining in with my friends and eating something greasy and delicious.
They weren’t trying to tempt me not to change on purpose, but they were certainly doing it on accident.
Every time somebody “liked” or commented on one of my clean eating photos, a shot of dopamine was immediately released into my ever thirsty approval-craving veins.
Every time somebody complimented me on my healthy habits, I found myself justifying why I shouldn’t change my clean eating obsession.
Every time somebody saw my fitness competition photos and exclaimed, “Wow you are so fit!” I tried to convince myself that they were right. I am so fit.
But no, I wasn’t. I wasn’t fit at all.
When I was at my leanest, I was also at my unhealthiest.
If you’re feeling like people are tempting you not to change your ways because you are good at something, decide for yourself to go be “bad” at something for a change. Break away from the label you’ve found yourself in for so long and don’t let outsiders dictate your direction.
Recovery is messy and sometimes downright ugly. You may not excel at it, but nobody ever does. That’s the beauty of breaking free and creating a life that truly supports your dreams. It’s not a crystal-clear path that you have to follow day in and day out. It’s a learning process every single day, with constantly wiggle room to move in new directions and change your course.
In thirty or forty years from now, when you look back on your life, what do you want to look at? What do you want to see?
Do you want to see a woman chained to perfectionism? Do you want to see a girl bound by labels, always trying to fit herself into boundaries and restrictions?
Or do you want to see somebody that bravely stepped out of self-made boundaries? Somebody that said “no” to something she was good at because she knew it wasn’t making her happy?
That’s what I want for you. Don’t let people tempt you to stay the same simply because you’re good at something.
Other places you can find me around the web this week: