I LOVE INSTAGRAM. It’s so yummy, intuitive, fun and community-oriented (as long as we keep our highlight reels in check, and share our realesttt moments in life too). I’ve had the idea to begin sharing some of my posts from Instagram directly onto my website for those who want easy access to to them. Here’s my first one: the theme of this week seems to be all around truth.
Sometimes your intuition is going to tell you to do things everyone else says not to. Sometimes your body is going to open at the sound of a word and you’ll have no idea why. Sometimes you’re going to feel liberated at the mere thought of changing a big aspect of your life and from that moment, you’ll know there’s no turning back.
Not everything is going to feel smooth, pleasant and comfortable. Moving to a city that everyone else said they didn’t see me at was not something that came naturally to me.
Normally, I’d find myself bobbin’ my head in agreement that, “Yeah, you’re right, I probably can’t handle the sounds!” “Yeah, you’re right, the people are probably too harsh for me!” but instead, I couldn’t help but remain neutral to all their opinions and thoughts. My body was protecting me from throwing out an idea that would actually change the course of my life for the BETTER.
If you’re considering changing careers, you ARE DEFINITELY going to receive opinions from people saying you’re not ready, it’s not reliable, or that it will take yearssss for you to actually make it work.
Some of that could be true. You may not be financially ready. It may take years to get it completely set up (years fly by). But that doesn’t mean it’s not for you. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get started. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t book that one-way flight, tell a friend about your exciting secret or make a MOVE.
People will be people. Meaning, most mean well, but we all have projections built in us (everyone!) so it’s normal for someone to dump their fears on you— it’s YOUR job to not let it become true in your mind.
The other day I was speaking with one of my 🌸 amazing 🌸 clients about the pressures we often feel to act a certain way, dress a certain way, date a certain person, and create camaraderie with our peers in a certain way.
In particular, she was wondering what her friends would think about her if she shared something with them that was very personal to her.
After digging in, she realized she doesn’t want to share this with them at all. It was HER business, not theirs. And the mere realization that this information about her isn’t owed to anybody— ANYBODY— brought the greatest sigh of relief.
I told her this gem of a question for the next time she gets in a pickle between doing what she wants, or what is expected of her. The question is simple: what would a queen do?
Would she agonize about telling her Queendom her personal affairs? Would she take into consideration the opinions of peasants? Would she bend over backwards for the court jester? Would a Queen kiss and tell? Would she live her life tit for tat?
HELLLLZ NAW. Dis bitch gunna pick up her chin, draw back her shoulders and strut around boldly in her castle, doin what she wants.
You ARE a Queen. Let what you do/don’t do come from that.
She wants to be messy.
She craves to adorn her legs with oil, letting the drip splash onto the bed, soaking the sheets, illuminating the smell of rose and eucalyptus throughout the room.
She yearns to let the reminders of her love affair linger in her clothing, from smell to taste.
She desires to let the chocolate from her midday treat leave markings on her hands without obsessively cleaning to perfection.
It’s the world that taught her to tidy up, straighten and clean. It’s the world that told her not to reveal but instead to conceal. It’s the world that showed her how to repress her dirty, messy, filthy, wildling self.
The tension of perfection has left her dry, keeping her from using her oils. The pressure to keep her nicest gown clean has kept her from wearing it for herself. The need to appear sharp and poised has prevented the chocolate from relaxing its stay.
No more. She is rising up THROUGH the mess. Allowing her toes to soften into dirt. Letting her hands make love to the food she eats. Giving her cheeks permission to be pillows for her tears. Allowing the messiness of her is the same as claiming her own heart completely.
Stop blaming your heart for wanting more. The depth you have— the desire you have— to receive MORE, MORE, MORE LOVE is a gift.
You can be blown open, in the most magnificent ways, by a lover that has satisfied what you thought were your deepest desires— and you can still be left wanting more.
That’s the beauty of the Feminine heart. She’s a panther of love. A lion of depth. A raven of yearning. A fox of ferocity.
A Feminine heart rarely finds herself satisfied with the amount of love she’s currently receiving. She wants more. And her desire for more is an invitation— for both her lover and herself.
It will teach her how to honor her desire for love without making anyone else wrong for it. it will teach her how to own her own craving to be seen and claimed, often being the one to give it to herself. It will teach her to love the love she receives, and not “close up” when it’s not enough— cause it’s never enough.
It will teach her LOVER how to come back to being present with her when he settles for the mundane in life— passionless sex, filler TV, distracting parties. Her yearning will wake him the fuck up from whatever small, mediocrity he’s pursuing with his magical one life.
When her heart breaks at him not living up to his fullest potential— she is SERVING him… and the world. But only if she reveals it to him in a way that’s heart-connected, and not blame/shaming.
HER unquenchable heart will invite him to go deeper, deeper, and deeper when he begins to stray off of his path. When she demands his full consciousness and presence, not only will she receive within their love life (yay for getting what she wants!) but she will also reignite it within him for when he goes out to lead in his personal quest.
I went to a talk by Tosha Silver with two of my girlfriends this weekend, and she casually mic dropped this incredibly insightful piece of wisdom.
Each of us came with something present in our lives that we were “waiting” for. Job opportunities, speaking positions, new clients, a relationship, etc. I think it’s reasonable to say that everyone is usually hoping to bring something into their life at any given time.
But, what’s so truly beautiful, is that everything really does happen in Divine Timing. It may not be YOUR timing, but the Universe doesn’t care much for ego and scarcity. It’s a bit more concerned with ease and grace.
If there’s something you haven’t quite found or created yet, you probably don’t need it yet. You can trust in that.
This weekend I wrote an Instagram story that I received so many “🙋🏼♀️s” about that I knew it needed further sharing.
What I said was that it’s okay if you don’t feel as energized and happy as everyone else on the weekends. I’m certainly not always. And I wasn’t this weekend.
My mood and energy levels can dip drastically come Saturday morning. Sometimes it is physical exhaustion, and sometimes it is mental exhaustion. Every once in awhile a Sunday will hit where I stay inside the entire day to recover and gurllll it’s so needed.
Other times, though, I feel antsy in my exhaustion. A battle within my mind— the peer pressure saying “everyone is out brunching and you didn’t get invited!” or “most people are enjoying this sunny day, but you aren’t cause dis girl ain’t got no plans with friends!” and my inner child, on the other wise, is saying, “Gurllll it cool. Chill.” It can lead to restlessness even though I’m physically resting.
We need to remind ourselves that in our youth we created the belief that weekends are for friends, sleepovers, birthday parties, and get togethers. And if you’re not invited, you’re not a “cool” kid.
As an adults, THAT CHANGES— in fact we really must let that belief go because we NEED weekends to rest.
Sometimes you may feel lonely with “everyone else” (ps— many people are doing the same thing you are) going out and enjoying the sunshine together. If you want to enjoy, go out and enjoy it girl!
And if you want to stay inside, give yourself the space and grace to make the weekend cater to YOU rather than you try to cater to the weekend. Draw a bath, order curry, get your silky robe on, massage yourself, put your phone away, journal, make a new playlist for the mood you are in, drink tea, call a friend, paint your toes, sing to Grease in the shower, make a vision board, nap, do yoga.
You may experience a dip in your mood getting used to this “aloneness” but please remember— aloneness is very different from loneliness. You can be alone knowing full well the world is your bestie, your lover and always with you.
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