I’ve been loving these Instagram round up posts because they’re giving me an opportunity to slow down and reflect on the themes I’ve been the most intrigued by. The theme I’ve noticed coming up in my writings recently has been sensuality. (what’s new?!)
It’s a deeper kind of sensuality, though. Since moving to New York, I’ve experienced and grown in many ways already.
I’ve gone to gatherings and events outside of my comfort zone. I’ve hissed and talked back to people oogling me aggressively. I’ve been confrontational when need be. I’ve had late nights and late mornings. I’ve let go of routine and made more room for pleasure and leisure. I’ve become an actress (still trying to get comfortable saying that). I’ve been in a documentary, reality dating show, short film, student film and more. I’ve dated and broken hearts already (and had my own a tad singed).
It’s been incredible.
And, with all that said, I’ve found myself appreciating the little things even more. Having the ability to get groceries delivered. Shades and blinds when I need to close out the world. Having friends for neighbors. Calling my mom on my dog walks. Dancing in my apartment. Feeling, feeling, feeing deeply.
So yes, sensuality is a theme I see arriving in my thoughts a lot lately… but it’s more than the sexual kind. It’s sensuality in all senses of the word. Hearing the multitude of sounds on the Brooklyn streets at midnight. Smelling the jewish bakery down the street with freshly made croissants. Feeling the soft decadence of my tender thighs. Holding my heart gently.
All of it.
Enjoy the musings that were born from these experiences in my writings below….and see more here.
One of the most helpful books I have ever read is called Attached (I even made an entire podcast on it— episode 150!) where I discovered the three attachment styles.
Anxious. Avoidant. Secure.
Here’s the fascinating thing.
Many “secures” meet in school early on in their youth and they settle in together pretty quickly. Secures feel even keel in relationship— neither threatened by intimacy or threatened by space. It’s natural for them to fall into relationship because it doesn’t really take anything from them.
Most “avoidant” types do not end up with avoidant types. There is no glue keeping them together— nobody is really calling the other or taking initiative.
On the other hand, “anxious” can potentially be with anxious, but what’s normally the most erotic (there’s that word POLARITY) again, is the complete opposite: the avoidant.
The mystery soul who isn’t always around…who you may have a hard time reading….who pushes and pulls…
So here we have someone who NEEDS closeness to feel love, and someone who NEEDS space to feel safe….and we have recipe for a….ROLLERCOASTER.
This rollercoaster is the very thing so many mistake for love. It’s exciting, the sex is great and it’s typically pretty unpredictable.
AND it normally leads to a lot of heartache.
When you begin to start changing your type to “secure” and you begin dating “secures” you may question is love is truly there…but all you’re actually feeling is the lack of emotional unsafely.
Everything is calm, and you may mistake that for a lack of love. It is not a lack of love, but rather, the feeling of ease, peace and something that love can finally be BUILT upon.
You’ve been full of many colors, my love.
Every stage of your life,
And the passing of time
Has led to create
A prism in the sunlight: that’s you.
Your birth was orange:
Full of magnificent and newness,
Where you learned the world would welcome
And hold you in your fragility.
Your childhood was yellow:
Bright and explorative,
Where you challenged others with your no
And learned to walk on your own two feet.
Your teen years were red:
Where you got caught up in reactions,
Learning what feels good and what doesn’t.
You created friendships for better or worse,
And discovered bliss in rebellion.
Young adulthood was blue:
Expansive, free and uninhibited.
Full of fast love and fast heartache,
Finding a rhythm in the pulsation of the heart.
Adulthood was green:
Creating an evolving vision for life
Stepping into purpose, power and clarity
Slicing through the muck
And creating aloneness over loneliness.
Seniority is purple:
Free from ego battles and those who ignite them,
Resting in everything you’ve become.
There’s nothing to prove,
There’s nothing that’s needed.
Everything you want is already within.
The Rest: a return to orange,
A home of wonder and awe
The world is seen as the vacation it always was…a vacation to visit for a time until returning to the earth.
You play, live, laugh and love
Realizing everything really is a gift.
Want to change the world? Stop refusing your inherent feminine gifts. The denial of the feminine is what got us into this mess and the amplification of her is what’s going to save us. 🦋
You are your greatest lover. You are the soul that sees you the deepest. You are the body the holds you the strongest. You are the soul mate you have been asking for after every heartbreak and expectation gone wrong.
More love will come from others. More souls will see you deeply. More bodies will hold you firmly.
And yet, you will always be the one you come home to, no matter what. Treat yourself with the utmost respect, generosity, patience, love, kindness, joy, honor, reverence, adoration and love NO MATTER how much you “messed up” or did “wrong” today. It really doesn’t matter how your human performance was— love you regardless.
This is how I like to describe the Masculine for those who are new to understanding its importance for our Feminine…
What if I dropped you in an island that was surrounded by cliffs, blindfolded you and then told you to dance your heart out? You’d be scared AF right? You can’t see! You’re surrounded by cliffs!
But what if a put a mighty gate around the premise of the island and told you to dance? You’d probably be much more likely to go into your trusting, flow state…. this is exactly what the Masculine does for us.
He holds the container for us. Holds boundaries with love. Holds structure even when it’s uncomfortable (hence why yoga is a masculine practice— it’s structure). So…if you want to go SUPER deep in your Feminine…you’re going to want to go even deeper with your Masculine so he can hold it all.
So grateful for all of the teachers I have worked with who have made this clear to me in life and love.
Do you remember a few months back when I recorded a podcast episode about manifestation and I timidly asked the guest about the link between white privilege and manifestation…and when the answer wasn’t full enough, I promised I would have an episode solely on it?
An episode completely centered on how manifestation can possibly be exclusive and even harmful?
Funny story: in the initial manifestation episode, I asked the guest I was speaking to if they had ever heard of the meme that went, “Maybe you manifested it… maybe it’s white privilege.” Well, the CREATOR of this meme, Corinna of @riseupgoodwitch, just happened to listen to that episode and she reached out offering to come onto the podcast to shed light on manifestation and white privilege without any shame, blame or pointing fingers.
I won’t lie: I was a little nervous about this one. I knew I was entering a territory that might piss some people off BUT I knew, with absolutely certainty, that both of us have good hearts that have no intention to blame. Therefore, I fully trusted the episode would come out that way.
And listening back, I think this is an incredible, much-needed conversation. It’s not that manifestation in itself is bad: it’s that it CAN be exclusive and spiritually bypassing.