Episode 150: One of the biggest epiphanies I’ve had in the dating world recently is that many of us have different attachment styles. Sometimes the reason why it doesn’t work out with another person is both on a biological and an emotional level. We are made differently and we have different needs.

If you’ve often felt “needy” in relationships, you need to hear this. If you’ve often felt distant in relationships, you need to hear this.

If you’ve fallen prey to believing that you must avoid, at all costs, becoming “attached” or “dependent” on your partner, then you need to hear this.

A misconception going around right now in the self-help world is that the only right way to be in a relationship is when it involves two self-sufficient, independent people coming together in mutual respect. It’s said that you must never rely on another person to fill your needs, and you must become whatever it is that you would want from a partner.

If you’ve found yourself believing this, I think you’re going to enjoy a realistic breath of fresh air. On a biological stand-point, this belief is unrealistic because it is impossible. Dependency in a relationship is not optional.

Enjoy listening in, and feel free to leave a comment below if you have any questions or insight!

Show notes:

  • Join the Plum Deluxe by May 1st + get a free bag of Self Care Tea in your first packet. Just put the words “Maddy Moon Insider” in the “how did you hear about us” box” when you signup, and your bonus will be added when your recurring subscription is processed.
  • Get the book Attached HERE
  • The different attachment styles
    • Secure
    • Anxious
    • Avoidance
  • How happiness comes from within and not from your partner, but your relationship with your partner certainly contributes to that level of happiness
  • Listen to THIS previous episode I had with David Finch to learn more about finding happiness outside of just your relations
  • Why dependency in a relationship isn’t a bad thing (it gets a bad rep in the self-help world, and that just ain’t right!)
  • An in-depth review of what activates each attachment style
  • Why “no roller coaster, no passion” isn’t true- passion in a relationship comes from nourishing, loving security
  • Compatibility of the different attachment styles (anxious with avoidant, secure with anxious, etc)
  • Why there are many “avoidants” in the dating pool
  • MANY people out there can make you happy- not just one person
  • How to undo activated/deactivated attachment styles through effective communication
  • Read THIS blog post on 10 Things to Do If You’re Going Through a Breakup

Connect with Maddy:

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