Are you in a loving relationship, but yet you feel there is a lack of depth? Has your heart been taken advantage of in your past? Looking to create something REAL with your lover {or future lover} but you’re unsure of how to create that space?

I’ve been in a few relationships in my past where we connected on a physical and mental level, but we lacked authenticity on an emotional level. Whether I was too afraid to expose the darkest parts of myself, or I was too scared of getting hurt, I held back {and he did the same}.

I consider those relationships to be crucial stepping stones in my journey because they taught me how to connect deeply in different ways, such as physically and spiritually; they also taught me how much I need to connect emotionally.

But why is it so difficult to let down these guards?

It could be because of past abuse. It could be because of heartbreak. It could be because it just wasn’t something you did growing up.

Trust me when I say that creating vulnerability in a relationship is one of the core aspects of your souls’ synchronized evolutions.

In this video, I go over 4 ways you can create real, authentic vulnerability with your partner in shine so that your two beautiful spirits can grow together.

1. Clean house on old beliefs about vulnerability

There are some negative connotations floating around about vulnerability being a weakness. Vulnerability actually requires a massive amount of courage and strength, two qualities that are needed in order to create anything magical in life. It goes without saying that if you can learn to expose your heart purely, you will be able to create things in this lifetime purely. Take some time to write down what negative beliefs you have about vulnerability and become very clear on how they are holding you back from making progress with your partner.

2. Pre-face the conversation

Do you already know what kind of response you desire after you’re vulnerable with your person? Awesome, then let them know. I often preface my “shame sharing” sessions by letting the receiver know that I either 1. Only want them to listen {not to fix anything} 2. Would like some advice or 3. I don’t know what I need but please be patient with me as I figure it out.

Prefacing my conversations has been immensely helpful because I’ve been able to set both of us up for success. If I don’t disclose what I need to gain from the conversation, I’m leaving his response up to chance. It’s simply better to be clear and concise about what you need in return as you share.

And what if you don’t know? That’s okay! Read number three and four.

3. Create the space needed for vulnerability

If you and your mate haven’t been practicing the art of releasing your feelings and sharing things deeper than the surface, it may be awkward and uncomfortable. He or she may not understand. That’s okay! It’s your job to make the first move and create the space needed for sharing. You be the one to say, “Hey babe. Something happened at work today and I really need someone to talk to about it. I don’t really need any advice, I would just really appreciate if you listened and provided a shoulder for me.” Sound simple enough right? Just open up your heart and allow someone to see past what’s on the surface. It may be weird for you both if you’re not used to doing this, but I promise, with time it will become second nature.

4. Release expectations

One of the most important things you can do during this time is to release any and all expectations you have about vulnerability. Being vulnerable does not mean the receiver must be vulnerable. Being vulnerable does not mean everybody cries. Being vulnerable doesn’t always guarantee a happy ending. I invite you to go into it without any expectations about the turn-out and instead, give the outcome over to God and let Him guide the conversation.

Remember, you’re not just being vulnerable for you. It’s for both of you. You’re creating something together that neither one of you owns. It’s its own entity, so I invite you to treat it as such.​​

{COACHING} Ready to break limiting beliefs + Take your self-worth to the next level? Apply for my 1:1 coaching HERE.

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